Only me....

So today was D day. I was very sure one of two things would happen. I would either spend the night rejoycing with someone, I was hoping Matt since I knew Dolly was out with RJ, or I would spend it alone in tears. The latter happened of course. Not because I was sad that the divorce was final and over but because the custody battle now begins. I have spent so much time and money on this thing I just wanted it over. Isaiah's father and I had already agreed on joint custody should have been no problem. But because Isaiah has been in California for almost six months, the court hasnt decided which state has juristiciton over him regardless of the fact there was nothing to dispute. Meaning Im going to have to start that part over again in California I believe. I am so tired of this I just wanted it done and over but of course , I should have expected nothing less. Im really just trying to understand why me? What could I have done to deserve all of this. I have tried and tried to be as good and kind as I can and I always find myself in the same situation; alone crying while people who claim to care are nowhere to be found.